i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
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I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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