even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
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You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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