the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
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We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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