You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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