8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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