Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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