think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize