Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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