Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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