There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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