if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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