he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize