I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize