The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I currently don't understand fingers.
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