I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize