you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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