weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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