I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize