I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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