"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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