i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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