WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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