she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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