his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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