K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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