Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
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I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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