just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize