Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize