also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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