I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
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Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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