Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
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i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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