I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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