I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize