someone get that fucking seahorse.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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