I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize