dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I puked a lego.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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