she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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