i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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