I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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