He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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