and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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