Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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