Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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