Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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