I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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