Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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