i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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