Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize