I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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