There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize